but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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