the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
