I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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