Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
