mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What drink are we having for lunch?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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