I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i've created a new STD.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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