Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
