He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
