i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
