The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
