Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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