it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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