my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
