this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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