Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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