Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
