U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
