You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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