Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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