i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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