Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Blood and glitter go together right?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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