their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Your mouth is God's brothel.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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