i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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