ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
