Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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