your parents love me but you hate me
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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