If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
