She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
