Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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