I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well I just put wine in my tea
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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