Me. At least after what I've been through.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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