Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
