he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
