READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
