idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
