Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
