Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
