It's Friday. Sex?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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