She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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