I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
