Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
