I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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