If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
