At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
