so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
