We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
