That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
