im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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