Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm both gender and math confused
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
