ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
