Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
