"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
